1st world problems

8yo [yelling from other room]:  oh, come on!!! seriously!!!

me [walking in there]:  what is going on?

8yo [huffing]:  i put the remote on the pillow and it keeps tumbling off.  IT’S A PROBLEM, mama.  i think it has tumble-of-the-bed-itis.

daddy:  God forbid.  what if you  *gasp* lived in a time when you actually had to get up and go change the channel on the tv??????  THE HORROR

me: [trying not to laugh]

i am a single mother of three

hubby likes that Geico camel commercial, so i sent him an ecard with it on it this morning. my reward for making him chuckle (on a not-very-good day) is???

daddy:  girls, what’s today????

5yo and 8yo:  IT’S HUMP DAY!!!

daddy:  WOO HOOOOO!

whereupon they all laugh hysterically and go crazy woo hooing and yelling hump day.

thanks, babe.

“sleepover”

daddy and i have consented – against our better judgment – to letting the girls sleep in 8yo’s room.

8yo [in the bathroom while i’m blowdrying her hair]:  we can wake and and get dressed together! [squeals]  what? i’m trying to make up for all the teasing and squabbling.  something like this only comes along once or twice in a lifetime!! it’s a once it a lifetime opportunity!!!!

i win at parenting

i come home to find my daughters playing ninja. 8yo has the inflated “rotor” from a blow-up helicopter/ball pit that my sister gave them a while back. she is using it as a cross between nunchuks and a shield.

8yo: you and 5yo have to attack me. and then i spin into a tornado with my shield, and the two of you are blown backwards, and you say to each other, “WOW, SHE IS FREAKISHLY STRONG!!!'”

whereupon i nearly fell over laughing. but 5yo dutifully steps back and looks at me with awe on her face and says “WOW SHE IS FREAKINGLY STRONG!”

and i am now crying and clearly i lost the fight after that. i soo love my kids!!!

moving on out

8yo directed us to index cards on her bedroom door, then headed to the other side of the house with a backpack. when we looked, there were cards saying that she had relocated to another room for several days, and that it was OK for us to cry. she signed it love, your beloved daughter. she also had a sign that her room is now “bell beach.”

apparently she is now residing in our closet.

right

5yo: the sore spot isn’t a bruise, it’s sun damage from being in the pool.

me: [thinking um, no it’s not, but whatever] ok, do you want me to put aloe on it?

5yo: no….. [thinking] because it will make my dress wet. aaaaaand [thinking] when you put aloe on it, it stings as it heals it, and it doesn’t feel better until it’s the next day and that’s way too long.

me: ok, no aloe then.

5yo: is there cream for sunburns?

me: yes, aloe. but i can put some of my cream on you instead.

5yo: ok. but later because…….[big breath] when you put it on in the morning, it kinda makes me fall asleep because it’s so soft.

me: right. *smh*