5yo just informed me that sometimes when she is tired, she gets daddy and me confused (!) and therefore i must wear a hat [mind you, one of her hats] so that she can tell the difference.
me: when we get home, we are cutting both your nails.
8yo: no!!! i’m going to hide in 2 pairs of my pants to get away from you.
me and daddy: ……
5yo trying to fit her fingers together to make a shape.
me: what are you doing??
5yo: making a turtle. [getting fingers twisted up. holds up one finger at me.] WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE.
me: [laughing] i will wait JUST ONE MINUTE.
everybody cracks up.
btw, she never did figure out the turtle thing, but managed to put one hand on top of the other so it looked like a spider riding on another spider’s back.
8yo, running around in her underwear with a pajama top tied around her like a cape, screaming UBERPUSS!!! *smh*
both kids in the shower.
5yo: stop! you are getting water in my eyes!
8yo: ok i’ll stop…….or WILL i? OMINOUS MUSIC! DUH DUH DUUUUUH!
8yo just told daddy he needs pants to relax. LMAO!!
…how grocery shopping went today. walking with the kids:
5yo: we are smelling the smell of your purse. it’s very sniffy.
8yo: we follow you by smelling you. and your purse.
then they proceed to follow me around, both directly behind me with their noses ON my purse, giggling while stepping on the backs of my feet. repeatedly. people in the store staring at us like we are from mars or something.
they then moved on to nibbling my purse….. *sigh*
5yo: guess what, mama? 25 equals……..25!
5yo: that’s weird, isn’t it?
5yo: it’s the same number!
8yo just declared that she named her bum fifi. #smh
kids are making a sign for a “day spa” they are creating for me on my bed (read: total destruction of my bed which will not be cleaned up by them later).
8yo [to 5yo]: make the sign extra extra pretty.
5yo: but i can’t make it THAT pretty because….my arms are going to get tired.
8yo: ok, then, make it pretty, then take a break and rest your arms, then make it prettier.
was just having a conversation about middle names and how her reflected the names of people in our family with 5yo, when she stopped and said, “i’m off to fight crime” and ran out of the room. WTF? LOL
listening to 8yo supposedly narrating a puppet show while daddy reads 5yo a bedtime story. apparently there were 2 sisters arguing, which was interrupted by a “big pop up fat head” (according to daddy) for which there was absolutely no reason, and then the story ended when 8yo said the big mamma head came in. there was some sort of moral to this puppet show, but i was laughing too hard to hear it.
8yo just handed me this. she said she made it for me and it’s an EXACT REPLICA of me in my wedding dress, complete with white dress and veil, which she informed me she used tape to hold down, and lipstick and even eyeshadow, so I can tell everyone she made me an EXACT REPLICA of me in my wedding dress. so that’s what i’m telling you. can’t you see the resemblance??????? *snicker*
so 8yo just informed me that she sat in the bathtub so long her bum is sore. her first solution was to put her hands in the freezer, then put them on her bum to cool it off. she said that stung. so i suggested aloe. she said that stung. when i got back from putting the aloe away, i found her with her pants down, bum sticking in the freezer, saying ahhhhh. it was all i could not to take a picture or laugh out loud.
btw, she says it feels much better now. 🙂
5yo just came out and, out of the blue, says she can do Irish dancing and proceeds to demonstrate. well, sort of.
i don’t know whether to be proud of her or run away screaming NO RIVERDANCING IN THE HOUSE!!
5yo: i can read your mind. which is crazy. and odd.
me: crazy and odd?!? you? [laughing hysterically so i missed the rest of the completely nonsensical conversation]
5yo [doing homework]: that’s a cactus. they call it a cactus because it cact’s you.
daddy: [honks horn at sleeping driver blocking lane]
5yo: eeeek! that horn scared me!
8yo: he was just blowing it because the person wasn’t moving. he was trying to get the BOZO out of the way, which i highly recommend.
me: [laughing hysterically]
5yo calls me into the bathroom, saying she needs help. i ask with what, and she shows me her hands with something pink all over them. turns out it’s….wait for it…..bubblegum. no idea where she got the gum – we have none in the house that i know of. her answer as to how it got all over her hands was unintelligible. she had used a fingernail scrub brush to try to get it off. the brush is of course now covered in gum and her skin was all red. took me 10 minutes with ice to freeze the gum so it wouldn’t stick to her skin and pull at it. i declared her a bubblegum nightmare and said bubblegum was off limits to her for a few years. at least it didn’t get in her hair. *smh*
daddy: woot! woot! it’s hump daaaay!