daddy: we have to get ready so we can get back in time for the parade.
8yo: we have 3 hours until the parade, plenty of time.
daddy: actually, you have to shower, change, get back, park, walk….. in reality, we have like… 10 minutes to get ready.
8yo: I recommend…mass panic.
daddy [nearly drives off the road laughing]
showed 5yo the Kmart commercial that everyone is freaking out about. [yeah, I’m a horrible mom. bite me.]
anyway, her impression: I like that show. they are lumberjacks. [giggling]
5yo: yes, because that’s what they do. dance.
me: she makes my brain hurt.
5yo: [talking really loudly]
daddy: you need to keep it down.
5yo: but when you talk loudly….
daddy: yes, but I’m allowed. I’m a grown up.
8yo: yeah, kids gotta learn to keep the volume down. unfortunately I’ve been hearing lectures about that for EIGHT YEARS.
daddy: unfortunately, we’ve needed to give those lectures for 8 years.
8yo: [rolls eyes]
5yo: mama, WHAT is in your backpack?
daddy: a small child.
5yo: [gapes, speechless]
daddy: what are you doing?
5yo: cl..ap..ping……. because I can feel my underwear.
me: [drops head and shakes it sadly]
daddy: [sighing] well at least that means you haven’t lost it.
5yo: actually, I can only feel my bum.
8yo: I’m taking pictures with my photographic memory. and my mouth is printing them out. [making buh buh buh noises]