Christmas eve at our house

both kids were [oddly] dressed for Christmas eve service 2 hours early.  of course they were both wearing short sleeve dresses and open shoes, and of course for once it’s like 40 degrees outside. but whatever.

6yo:  we’re leaving in 7 minutes.

daddy:  no, we’re leaving at 7. the service is at 8.

[5 minutes later]  6yo:  we’re leaving in 8 minutes.

daddy:  no, we’re not! we’re leaving at 7!!

6yo: [10 minutes later]  we’re leaving in…


8yo:  you do realize that the 8 pm service won’t be over until 10.

me:  maybe.

8yo:  well that’s too late!!

me:  …coming from the child who constantly wants to stay up until midnight?!?

8yo:  10 pm is too late.  I NEED MY BEAUTY REST!!!

me:  [cracking up]  um, yeah.

we made it through the service without 8yo asking once when it was over.  however, 6yo repeated that she was bored about 15 times in the last 45 minutes and did her dead level best to set her finger on fire with the candle for candlelight vigil.  [sigh]




8yo: [on way to bathroom] you know, i don’t understand why men use yourEENals instead of just sitting down like us.

me: huh?

8yo:  you know, yourEENals. they use them standing up instead of sitting down.  and they don’t even flush, they have a drain.

me: [light bulb goes on;  starts laughing] you mean urinals. [thinking wtf are we discussing urinals for??????]

8yo:  i can’t say that correctly. i mean, if they don’t flush, there could be serious consequences. serious problems.

me:  [still laughing] uh, it’s easier and quicker for them to do things standing up.

8yo:  [thinks about this] hmm

me: [praying that we don’t have to discuss WHY and this conversation can end]…..

8yo:  [walks away]

me:  [sags in relief and goes back to eating breakfast]

um, what?

6yo [yes, she’s 6 now!!!! sniff]:  [putting beaded necklace on her teeth]   look, i have braces!!

daddy and me:  [laughing]

6yo:  the fun never stops when you have braces!!!!!

me:  ?

8yo:  “the fun never stops when you have braces.”  that’s an inspiring campaign slogan!!

me:  [takes more aspirin]