um, what???

daddy [eating frozen slushee]:  whoa

6 and 8yo:  what happened?

daddy: you know when you eat ice cream too fast and you get brain freeze? well it was like that, but in my chest.

6yo:  oh, i know.  i got brain freeze eating a sno cone at school one time, and i was dead for a while.

daddy: …

6yo:  but then i was like, oh, i’m alive again.

daddy:  [nearly crashes truck laughing]

boom

6yo [talking from back seat on way to library]: i love going to new libraries. it’s cool to go see new libraries. and new things. it’s cool to see new things.  too.  you know, even tho i like my booster seat with the back on, it’s okay with the back off too. i like it both ways.  i’ll make a decision by the time we get there about which way i want it to be.  because i have to make a decision.  the last time we had the back on was before we took it off was when we went down to see mimi and papa.  i still have red ink on my hands from drawing earlier. it didn’t come off.  look, there’s our gym.  do you like the ellipticals there?  you don’t like them there, do you?

my brain:  [boom]

um, what?

8yo [at dinner table, eating pizza]:  this pizza is great. it has crumbs on the bottom that you can like.

me:  um, what?

8yo:  little yellow crumbs on the bottom. i like to lick them off. [demonstrates the licking for me]

me:  you know you are weird, right?

8yo:  the crumbs like to visit my face.  they have this thing about my eyebrows.

me:….

8yo:  to avoid the crumby eyebrow thing, you have to eat quickly.

me:  um, yeah.  [shakes and hangs head]