um, what???

daddy [eating frozen slushee]:  whoa

6 and 8yo:  what happened?

daddy: you know when you eat ice cream too fast and you get brain freeze? well it was like that, but in my chest.

6yo:  oh, i know.  i got brain freeze eating a sno cone at school one time, and i was dead for a while.

daddy: …

6yo:  but then i was like, oh, i’m alive again.

daddy:  [nearly crashes truck laughing]


have i mentioned the notes?

my kids love to write us notes.  sometimes happy ones, like the i love you sticky on my computer.  then there are other less happy ones.  for example, this one from 6yo, waiting for us this morning:


2014-02-17 19.45.30bonus points if you can actually read it.



6yo [talking from back seat on way to library]: i love going to new libraries. it’s cool to go see new libraries. and new things. it’s cool to see new things.  too.  you know, even tho i like my booster seat with the back on, it’s okay with the back off too. i like it both ways.  i’ll make a decision by the time we get there about which way i want it to be.  because i have to make a decision.  the last time we had the back on was before we took it off was when we went down to see mimi and papa.  i still have red ink on my hands from drawing earlier. it didn’t come off.  look, there’s our gym.  do you like the ellipticals there?  you don’t like them there, do you?

my brain:  [boom]


morning at our house

i walk in and say good morning to 6yo.

6yo: 8yo and i switched our brains so that daddy wouldn’t have to give them to us and give them out to other people and use his extra smart brains and give them to people who need extra brains….

me:  [leaves room before head explodes]


someone’s in trouble

daddy is acting, well, like daddy.

8yo:  _____ ______ _____ [daddy’s full name], stop that right this minute!

6yo:  we’re gonna call grandma!!!!

me:  [cracking up]



daddy was wrestling around with 8yo and poked her in the ribs to tickle her.

8yo:  daddy, don’t poke my boob.  if you poke my boob, my kids will end up having unpasteurized milk.



can you hear me now?

8yo [who is supposed to be reading before bed] just came out and told me that she has figured out how to instant message.

8yo: i just pass my invisible cell phone into my ear, and instant messaging comes out of my mouth.

this weirdness brought to you by the fact that my kids NEVER WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.