kids ambush me as soon as i get home and ask me to play a game they made up: cakery bakery(TM). so one of them is supposed to make me a cake from like 3000 different options that they gave to me, and the other is supposed to entertain me with jokes. 9yo “bakes.”
6yo: what is the difference between a jellyfish and a violin?
me [tired after work]: one is a jellyfish and one is a violin…
6yo: no, you can’t strum a jellyfish.
whereupon both kids pretend to be patrick from spongebob and grab a pretend jellyfish and strum him, laughing loudly. clearly they watch too much tv. bad. tv.
6yo: what is the same between a tree and a dog?
me: they both have a bark?
6yo: NO, what is the difference between a tree and a dog?
me: i don’t know. one has leaves?
6yo: NO, IT’S ABOUT THE DOG.
me: it has fleas?
6yo: no. what is the difference between a fox and a dog?
me [wondering what happened to the answer to the tree/dog joke. what is this, like a game show where i get the wrong answer too many times and have to skip to the next? wtf? but then i think of one of their favorite songs]: a dog says woof but we don’t know what the fox says? [laughing]
6yo: NO, WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?!?
[both start singing ring ding ding ding ding….. and dancing and laughing hysterically]
6yo: want a banana split without the banana?
me: [brain explodes]