and I will name him george

9yo’s teacher gave them the link to a website where they sell hedgehogs. she wants a pet desperately.
9yo: and look,  the one I want is older,  with a shy temperament which is perfect for me, and *only* $125!
daddy: hedgehogs scratch,  bite,  claw. they’re vicious little creatures. you can’t even pet them because of their spines – they will rip your hands to bloody shreds!!!
9yo: [pauses] that just makes me more determined to get one.
daddy and me: [dying laughing]

so how is your night going?

soooo daddy bought a hockey mask a la Jason and was just chasing the kids around the house.  my head and eardrums are completely traumatized by the shrieking.

9yo was running away, but 6yo is standing there shrieking without moving.

daddy:  she would be the one in that commercial about the bad decisions who would run and hide behind the chainsaws…..

me:  [dying laughing]

kill me now – bedtime edition

6yo [calling out from her bed where she is reading before going to sleep]:  mamaaaaaa,  i haaaave a neeeww waaay of tellinggggg you whennn i’m done reeeeading.  [voice inflecting up and down]  it invooolves making weeeird noisesssss.

me:  um, no.

6yo:  too late!  i already signed the contract giving me the right to do it!  [laughing loudly]

me [muttering to myself]:  damn soulsucker genes….

bedtime for bozos

this was my putting the kids to bed tonight:

9yo [singing]:  tractor!  gonna see a chiropractor!  he’s gonna fix my backtor!  [dies laughing and rolling around on the bed]

[sidenote:  clearly i need to rethink letting them watch the fairly oddparents]

6yo [as i tell her to get off the covers and under them]:  booty up in the air! booty down on the ground!  booty booty all around!  [dissolves into giggling fit]

me:  *sigh*