6yo [calling out from her bed where she is reading before going to sleep]: mamaaaaaa, i haaaave a neeeww waaay of tellinggggg you whennn i’m done reeeeading. [voice inflecting up and down] it invooolves making weeeird noisesssss.
me: um, no.
6yo: too late! i already signed the contract giving me the right to do it! [laughing loudly]
me [muttering to myself]: damn soulsucker genes….
this was my putting the kids to bed tonight:
9yo [singing]: tractor! gonna see a chiropractor! he’s gonna fix my backtor! [dies laughing and rolling around on the bed]
[sidenote: clearly i need to rethink letting them watch the fairly oddparents]
6yo [as i tell her to get off the covers and under them]: booty up in the air! booty down on the ground! booty booty all around! [dissolves into giggling fit]
both kids just ran into the room yelling: look, mama, we’re wearing daddy’s underpants!
and yes, yes, they are. *shakes head sadly*
9yo: i need 9 lbs of cocktail weiners!!!
9yo: what? when i say that, it means i would like some tortilla chips off the top of the fridge! [looks at me as if i’m dumb]
me:…because, of course.
came home yesterday to find these new *laws* on the fridge and 2 naked children eating dinner.