and how is your morning?

so i get up and realize that my desk chair, where i sit to catch up on news in the morning, is gone.  9yo has co-opted it so that her stuffies can sit and watch her play a game on her computer.  there are like 10 other chairs in the house.  but somehow i was the bad guy when i asked for my chair back. *sigh*


i’m either an idiot or a masochist

out eating lunch with the kids.
9yo: this is so delicious.
6yo: did it take your mouth on a flavor journey like mine did?
me: ….where do you get this stuff?!?
6yo: teen titan go.
me: remind me again why i let you watch that show.
9yo: because it is entertaining and it gives us stuff to weird you out.
me: right


please make it stop

on drive home from class field trip
9yo: if my bum could talk,  it would say thank you for reclining my seat.
me: what?!?
9yo: my bum is comfy cozy
me: …
9yo: so if it could talk,  it would say thank you.
me: [shakes head] i suppose if your bum were able to listen,  i would say you’re welcome.
9yo: [cracks up]
me: you are both bum-obsessed. no wonder mimi and papa think there’s something wrong with you.  i blame daddy.



9yo to daddy:  dude, what’s your problem, you?

daddy:  [cracks up]


send help

driving home from dinner.

me:  you two calm down back there.

9yo:  we’re having our hourly mohawk talk.

me: ????

9yo:  today’s topic is how to keep your sibling from sabotaging your mohawk.  tip #1:  try not to let her strangle you…..


how is your day going?

9yo [sitting on the seat in the car]: it’s cold.  i feel sorry for my rear. [note: it’s like 60 degrees outside]
me: [cracks up]
6yo: you are your rear.  your rear is you.
9yo and me: …