please make it stop

on drive home from class field trip
9yo: if my bum could talk,  it would say thank you for reclining my seat.
me: what?!?
9yo: my bum is comfy cozy
me: …
9yo: so if it could talk,  it would say thank you.
me: [shakes head] i suppose if your bum were able to listen,  i would say you’re welcome.
9yo: [cracks up]
me: you are both bum-obsessed. no wonder mimi and papa think there’s something wrong with you.  i blame daddy.

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