my 7yo scares the crap out of me sometimes

we are in one room,  listening to the kids play together in another.   all of a sudden,  we hear this:
7yo: and the knife slices down. …. and the person is dead.
no idea wtf they are playing,  but it’s a good reason to sleep with the lights on.

and how’s your morning going?

9yo:  i’m cold.  why am i cold?

7yo:  because you are a big ice cube with a bum.

9yo:  well, you are a tooty fruity sno cone with a head.

me:  [sigh]


i blame daddy

i come out of the bathroom.  both kids are snickering. i look around suspiciously but see nothing.  9yo whispers to 7yo and tries to get her to tell me something.  7yo refuses.

9yo:  7yo said you said she could use your labeler.

me: um, no, i didn’t.  [narrows eyes at them]  what did you do?

9yo: well, we made some labels….. [laughing behind her hand]

7yo:  i typed in “bum” and made a label to stick on my bum!!!  [giggling crazily and turning around to show me her bum]

9yo:  and then we typed in poopy and pee…….  [cracking up and showing me labels]

me:  stop. just stop. now.  [drops head sadly]

this is clearly daddy’s fault, as they KNOW i don’t want to hear about bums or toilets or whatever.  maybe i should just be happy they are organizing?