maybe driving to work wouldn’t be so bad…

me: [home sick for day 2 and on too much cold meds and albuterol, delirious] *walks out to kitchen to get something to eat *

10yo: who wants to hear a song about potatoes?

me: *stares at her blankly*

12yo: oh no

10yo: potatoes, potahtoes, poteetos…[to tune of la cucaracha]


the one where there is a big scary bug UPDATED

about an hour before work ends, I get this text:

me (at work):   *dies laughing*

[co-workers look at me like I’m nuts] 

me (texting back):  is it A flying bug? (yes). where was it? (In the main room) Well, lock yourself in the hallway. I’m sure you won’t starve before I get home. [note: i work  quite a ways from where they are]

them:  ok don’t freak out though. we’re fine 

me: *contemplates how texting they’re   trapped without food equals fine*

UPDATE: came home, looked through the whole house, but couldn’t find any bug. so now we’re stuck with ongoing bug creepiness in the house until something turns up. *sigh*


pizza rolls….not

*watches commercial for hulu and pizza rolls*

9yo:  pizza rolls


9yo: pizza rolls

me: last time we had some, you didn’t eat them.

9yo: well I don’t remember it, so it never happened.

me: hahaha


hold me, I’m scared 

11yo:  my shorts are on fire and my shirt speaks like a pig.  [exits room]



8yo: [leaning over to whisper in my ear]. when the brownies are done, we can feast on them like monkey with red eyes and ears of doom….

oh, I messed that up 



kill me now

8yo decided that it’s OK to write Santa and ask for things during the year. What does she ask for? For the elf to come the day after Thanksgiving. #KillMeNow