hold me…..I’m scared.  but also kind of proud 

7yo and  10yo watching  mine craft videos on YouTube.

7yo:  I like watching this one. he kills justin beiber. [laughs evilly]

while she still frightens me, at least I taught her that he’s a worthless talentless punk.  go me.  

why did i get her this game again?

10yo, in lieu of reading on her own, chose to read to me from some sort of  minecraft handbook.  i now know more than i ever – EVER – wanted to about zombie pigmen and the difference between wither skeletons and withers (hint:  number of heads). i’m seriously rethinking the whole kindle for the kids things. *headdesk*

hold me…..I’m scared.  but also kind of proud 

7yo and  10yo watching  mine craft videos on YouTube.

7yo:  I like watching this one. he kills justin beiber. [laughs evilly]

while she still frightens me, at least I taught her that he’s a worthless talentless punk.  go me.  

i’m blaming daddy…….and cats

apparently daddy watched cat videos on youtube with the kids when i wasn’t home, and there was one of a cat twerking to the “big fat butt” song (whatever that is).  so this is what i got at dinner.

7yo:  i think i’ll finish my dinner and go twerk in my room.

me: …….

thanks daddy.

7yo’s description of the school grounds on first day of school

we can walk from our neighborhood to the kids’ school.  after we get off the path, there is a fenced drainage area.  with all the rain, it is now completely grown over and the animals are loud as all get out.

7yo:  it looks like muck, smells like yuck, and sounds like frog.

my kids now have theme music

me:  it’s time for bed. turn off the tv in the playroom and go get ready.

them:  [all kinds of wailing and whining, then whispering and silence]

…..

them:  mama, look at us.  [each slowly crawls out of playroom looking sad with their heads down ]  slow, mournful song plays in the background.

me:  [stifling laughter]

a zazz zusser what?!?

7yo was reading me a dr. seuss book – the  abc’s or something.  there is some character narrating the story. on the last page (z) the narrator says it is  a zazz zusser zuss (or something close to that).  there is a picture of it.  it has long red hair.  

7yo: this is the guy who was telling the story.

me: you think that’s a guy? with that hair?

7yo:  yes. I KNOW  he is.

me:  how?

7yo:  I read it in another book…..don’t judge me.

me:…….bwahahahaha!