hold me, I’m scared

11yo:  my shorts are on fire and my shirt speaks like a pig.  [exits room]

me:….

and 6 minutes later

me: [eating breakfast and yawning because i’m not awake]

8yo: [from across the room]  yawns don’t make sense to feet.

me: [headdesk]

so how’s your weekend starting?

i’ve been up on a saturday for 5 whole minutes.

8yo:  [coming up next to me and staring at me like a meerkat] socks like cookies too.

me:  … go. away.