chocolate and beavers: breakfast of champions

breakfast with 7yo.  7yo’s request for breakfast was a “breakfast sandwich.”  which consists of 2 slices of bread with hershey’s chocolate spread in it, cut with a sandwich shaper to look like hearts.  oh, and a babybel mozzarella cheese.  and yoohoo.

……

7yo:  mama, you know how much i love chocolate?  I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT.

me:  [laughs because i love chocolate too]

……

7yo:  look, i’m a beaver. a beaver that chews on wood.  not wood wood, but cheese wood. it’s a cheese wood block. i’m a beaver who eats cheese wood.  [proceeds to gnaw on cheese]  biting it from the side. [more gnawing]

…….

7yo [holding up gnawed cheese]:  look, it’s a bed. i’m gonna eat the bed and then i’ll be a monster.

me:  [thinking it’s waaaaay too early for this child]

tmi

8yo and 5yo attack me when i get up.

8yo:  pretend you are going to wipe your messy face on her.  [both move toward me, and yes, they had been eating oreos – nuff said]

this goes on with them attacking me and me repelling them for several minutes.

8yo:  we’re gonna wipe the oreo mess all over your shirt!

5yo: i’m not wearing underwear!!!

me:  *smh*

tmi

8yo and 5yo attack me when i get up.

8yo:  pretend you are going to wipe your messy face on her.  [both move toward me, and yes, they had been eating oreos – nuff said]

this goes on with them attacking me and me repelling them for several minutes.

8yo:  we’re gonna wipe the oreo mess all over your shirt!

5yo: i’m not wearing underwear!!!

me:  *smh*