me [to 7yo]: it’s bedtime.
7yo: I WILL NOW LEAVE THE ROOM IN AN EXTREMELY WEIRD WAY. [wiggles, hops, jumps, spins, dances, tumbles out the door with a bizarre look on her face]
whereupon daddy and i look at each other, shake our heads and start laughing.
it’s bedtime. so of course this is happening:
daddy: i HAVE THE KRAGL AND I’M GOING TO GLUE YOU ALL TOGETHER!!!
kids: [shrieking and running for cover]
this was my putting the kids to bed tonight:
9yo [singing]: tractor! gonna see a chiropractor! he’s gonna fix my backtor! [dies laughing and rolling around on the bed]
[sidenote: clearly i need to rethink letting them watch the fairly oddparents]
6yo [as i tell her to get off the covers and under them]: booty up in the air! booty down on the ground! booty booty all around! [dissolves into giggling fit]
listening to 8yo supposedly narrating a puppet show while daddy reads 5yo a bedtime story. apparently there were 2 sisters arguing, which was interrupted by a “big pop up fat head” (according to daddy) for which there was absolutely no reason, and then the story ended when 8yo said the big mamma head came in. there was some sort of moral to this puppet show, but i was laughing too hard to hear it.
it’s almost time for whack a mole – otherwise known as bedtime – and SOMEONE just incited utter chaos. [narrows eyes at daddy]
5yo [at bedtime]: i’m as tired as a fish.
me: ….then why do you want me to read you a story, if you’re so tired?
5yo: fish like stories at bedtime too, you know.
me: of course
of course, trying to get the kids in bed so we can finish watching the game, and 4yo wants me to read Green Eggs and Ham.
trying to get 3yo ready for bed. i get a diaper on her, and she starts wiggling.
me: what are you doing?
3yo: the bum shake.