chocolate and beavers: breakfast of champions

breakfast with 7yo.  7yo’s request for breakfast was a “breakfast sandwich.”  which consists of 2 slices of bread with hershey’s chocolate spread in it, cut with a sandwich shaper to look like hearts.  oh, and a babybel mozzarella cheese.  and yoohoo.

……

7yo:  mama, you know how much i love chocolate?  I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT.

me:  [laughs because i love chocolate too]

……

7yo:  look, i’m a beaver. a beaver that chews on wood.  not wood wood, but cheese wood. it’s a cheese wood block. i’m a beaver who eats cheese wood.  [proceeds to gnaw on cheese]  biting it from the side. [more gnawing]

…….

7yo [holding up gnawed cheese]:  look, it’s a bed. i’m gonna eat the bed and then i’ll be a monster.

me:  [thinking it’s waaaaay too early for this child]

lemonade stands that make you fall asleep…..

7yo:  i feel like…..lemonade.

me:  lemonade?

7yo:  yes, that means i feel cold.

me:…..so of all the ways to describe your being cold, you chose lemonade??

7yo:  actually, it means that i feel refreshing.

me [worried what this new turn might bring]:  refreshing…..

7yo:  which means that i’m sleepy.

me:  *gives up and proceeds to ignore child”

kill. me. now.

O.M.G. rearranging 9yo’s room so we can fit in her new bookcase. the amount of paper and plastic we found (mind you, only weeks after I spent 2 days cleaning up the majority of it) could fuel a small country, and the amount of cheerios and m&ms could feed it!!!! AND THIS IS MY NEAT CHILD!!! *collapses on the floor in despair*