breakfast with 7yo. 7yo’s request for breakfast was a “breakfast sandwich.” which consists of 2 slices of bread with hershey’s chocolate spread in it, cut with a sandwich shaper to look like hearts. oh, and a babybel mozzarella cheese. and yoohoo.
7yo: mama, you know how much i love chocolate? I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT.
me: [laughs because i love chocolate too]
7yo: look, i’m a beaver. a beaver that chews on wood. not wood wood, but cheese wood. it’s a cheese wood block. i’m a beaver who eats cheese wood. [proceeds to gnaw on cheese] biting it from the side. [more gnawing]
7yo [holding up gnawed cheese]: look, it’s a bed. i’m gonna eat the bed and then i’ll be a monster.
me: [thinking it’s waaaaay too early for this child]
7yo: i feel like…..lemonade.
7yo: yes, that means i feel cold.
me:…..so of all the ways to describe your being cold, you chose lemonade??
7yo: actually, it means that i feel refreshing.
me [worried what this new turn might bring]: refreshing…..
7yo: which means that i’m sleepy.
me: *gives up and proceeds to ignore child”
daddy: what is that noise?
10yo: it is rain, father.
daddy: …… ok…daughter.
10yo: surely you must have learned about this when you were young.
me: whose child are you?
O.M.G. rearranging 9yo’s room so we can fit in her new bookcase. the amount of paper and plastic we found (mind you, only weeks after I spent 2 days cleaning up the majority of it) could fuel a small country, and the amount of cheerios and m&ms could feed it!!!! AND THIS IS MY NEAT CHILD!!! *collapses on the floor in despair*
conversation on way home the other day:
5yo is laughing
8yo: child, you are seriously weird. i say this with a disgusted look on my face.
5yo laughs louder.