breakfast with 7yo. 7yo’s request for breakfast was a “breakfast sandwich.” which consists of 2 slices of bread with hershey’s chocolate spread in it, cut with a sandwich shaper to look like hearts. oh, and a babybel mozzarella cheese. and yoohoo.
7yo: mama, you know how much i love chocolate? I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT.
me: [laughs because i love chocolate too]
7yo: look, i’m a beaver. a beaver that chews on wood. not wood wood, but cheese wood. it’s a cheese wood block. i’m a beaver who eats cheese wood. [proceeds to gnaw on cheese] biting it from the side. [more gnawing]
7yo [holding up gnawed cheese]: look, it’s a bed. i’m gonna eat the bed and then i’ll be a monster.
me: [thinking it’s waaaaay too early for this child]
i go in to wake up 7yo this morning.
7yo: mama, i know what i want for my birthday [many months from now] or Christmas.
me: [half asleep] great, what would that be?
7yo: a zippy bag.
7yo: i’d put in on my bed and i’d put my blanket underneath it and be warm and i could unzip this side and unzip that side. no, just this side. and you know it’s so awesome that if you spill something on it like food or chocolate [mind you, this is apparently something that goes on a bed], it’s…….[huge smile] MACHINE WASHABLE FLEECE!!!!
me: my life is complete. get up.
4yo belatedly (of course) tells me she spilled something that you make chocolate drinks out of on a white dress. which of course she put in the laundry basket, and not the washer. i thought it was chocolate syrup but not dark enough. so i figured chocolate milk. wrong. i went in the pantry to get something and discovered cocoa powder spilled on the shelf and the floor.
me: why didn’t you tell me that you spilled the powder?
4yo: well i was just about to.
and so it begins. *sigh*