dinner entertainment

eating dinner out. after telling waitress we were 1 adult (me) and three kids ( including Daddy), e are seated and get drinks.

Daddy: there’s not very much ice in this iced tea.

10yo: stop being so needy.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

i’m blaming daddy…….and cats

apparently daddy watched cat videos on youtube with the kids when i wasn’t home, and there was one of a cat twerking to the “big fat butt” song (whatever that is).  so this is what i got at dinner.

7yo:  i think i’ll finish my dinner and go twerk in my room.

me: …….

thanks daddy.

way to make an exit

me [to 7yo]: it’s bedtime.

7yo:  I WILL NOW LEAVE THE ROOM IN AN EXTREMELY WEIRD WAY.  [wiggles, hops, jumps, spins, dances, tumbles out the door with a bizarre look on her face]

whereupon daddy and i look at each other, shake our heads and start laughing.

i’m a single mother of two kids and a zombie, apparently

i walk in the door coming home from work.  7yo runs up to me to say hello.

daddy:  did you tell mama about me?

7yo:  daddy has a bandage on his arm. he says he was bitten by a zombie and now he’s going to turn into a zombie. and when he’s tired, he wants to eat brains.  [giving daddy very skeptical look]

daddy:  and i’m coming for you later, tasty brain girl.  [7yo screams and hides behind me, pretending to shake with fear]

me: so glad i came home. [contemplates going back to work]

 

seriously, single mother of three here *sigh*

daddy and kids making a ton of noise in the other room.

me [looking at clock]:  it’s past time to get ready for bed!!  let’s go!

10yo [skipping into the room]:  sorry, mama.  daddy was teaching me how to shoot off people’s heads. (playing a weird, creepy xbox game, not IRL people)

me:……so glad daddy is teaching you the important things in life.  *sigh*

i think i need to worry about what daddy is teaching them when i’m not home

came home from work and walked in on kids having dinner. i have no idea what they were talking about, but this is what i heard:

9yo [to 7yo, with emphasis]:  exactly.  YOU are a WOMAN of MANY changes.

i really need to get home earlier because i’m starting to worry what daddy is teaching them while i’m away.