chocolate and beavers: breakfast of champions

breakfast with 7yo.  7yo’s request for breakfast was a “breakfast sandwich.”  which consists of 2 slices of bread with hershey’s chocolate spread in it, cut with a sandwich shaper to look like hearts.  oh, and a babybel mozzarella cheese.  and yoohoo.

……

7yo:  mama, you know how much i love chocolate?  I KNOW IT WHEN I SEE IT.

me:  [laughs because i love chocolate too]

……

7yo:  look, i’m a beaver. a beaver that chews on wood.  not wood wood, but cheese wood. it’s a cheese wood block. i’m a beaver who eats cheese wood.  [proceeds to gnaw on cheese]  biting it from the side. [more gnawing]

…….

7yo [holding up gnawed cheese]:  look, it’s a bed. i’m gonna eat the bed and then i’ll be a monster.

me:  [thinking it’s waaaaay too early for this child]

and welcome to my morning

currently as i try to eat breakfast, 10yo is up on the kitchen counter screaming because 7yo is crawling toward her in a bikini saying “revenge” over and over in a creepy way.  *sigh*

oh the drama

me: time to eat breakfast.

8yo:  mini pancakes.

me: we don’t have any. come see what we do have.

8yo:  we haven’t had anything new in a week. there isn’t anything to eat.  i’m just saying that i have had to eat the same snacks for 2 WHOLE WEEKS. i don’t know if i can take another day!!!

me:  OH THE HUMANITY!!! pick something and eat. *sigh*