i’m a single mother of two kids and a zombie, apparently

i walk in the door coming home from work.  7yo runs up to me to say hello.

daddy:  did you tell mama about me?

7yo:  daddy has a bandage on his arm. he says he was bitten by a zombie and now he’s going to turn into a zombie. and when he’s tired, he wants to eat brains.  [giving daddy very skeptical look]

daddy:  and i’m coming for you later, tasty brain girl.  [7yo screams and hides behind me, pretending to shake with fear]

me: so glad i came home. [contemplates going back to work]

 

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seriously, single mother of three here *sigh*

daddy and kids making a ton of noise in the other room.

me [looking at clock]:  it’s past time to get ready for bed!!  let’s go!

10yo [skipping into the room]:  sorry, mama.  daddy was teaching me how to shoot off people’s heads. (playing a weird, creepy xbox game, not IRL people)

me:……so glad daddy is teaching you the important things in life.  *sigh*