bedtime for bozos

this was my putting the kids to bed tonight:

9yo [singing]:  tractor!  gonna see a chiropractor!  he’s gonna fix my backtor!  [dies laughing and rolling around on the bed]

[sidenote:  clearly i need to rethink letting them watch the fairly oddparents]

6yo [as i tell her to get off the covers and under them]:  booty up in the air! booty down on the ground!  booty booty all around!  [dissolves into giggling fit]

me:  *sigh*

running off the road

in the car driving somewhere, 8yo looks at herself in the window reflection.

8yo: hey, i have hair on my upper lip. i think i’m growing a mustache.

5yo: let’s shave.

[they both pretend to shave their faces]

8yo: ow, i think i shaved my nose hair!

5yo: ow, i think i shaved my nostril off!

daddy and i are laughing so hard we almost run off the road