and a very good morning to you too

i go in to wake up 7yo this morning.

7yo:  mama, i know what i want for my birthday [many months from now] or Christmas.

me:  [half asleep] great, what would that be?

7yo:  a zippy bag.

me: ??

7yo:  i’d put in on my bed and i’d put my blanket underneath it and be warm and i could unzip this side and unzip that side. no, just this side.  and you know it’s so awesome that if you spill something on it like food or chocolate [mind you, this is apparently something that goes on a bed], it’s…….[huge smile] MACHINE WASHABLE FLEECE!!!!

me:  my life is complete.  get up.


on the way to taco bell.  i ask 6yo what she wants. she is very specific and says that she wants a spicy beef soft taco with cheddar cheese (read: soft beef taco with whatever cheese they put on it).  i ask her twice if she is sure she doesn’t want a gordita like mine, since she always wants some of mine.  she is adamant that she wants a SPICY. BEEF.  TACO. WITH.  CHEDDAR. CHEESE.  so this is what i order for her and 2 gorditas for me (so i can have one for lunch tomorrow).

we get home and i am putting the food on plates.

6yo:  so maybe i can have half of one of your gorditas.

me: no way. i asked you several times if you wanted one and you said no!

6yo:  but i could have half of one.

me:  no.

6yo [play pouting]:  yes, i can.

me [sighing in resignation]:  maybe, just MAYBE, you can have a little bit of one.

6yo:  so that’s like half.

me: no, that is like a little.

6 yo:  which means half.  [big smile]

me [trying not to smile]:  which means a little.  maybe.

6yo [frowns while thinking about this for a minute]:  when i say a half, i MEANT a little.  i don’t think things mean the same thing you think they mean, but you didn’t ask me what i meant, so i couldn’t tell you that a half meant a little!

me:  *smh*  whatever.

annoyingly, after giving the little varmint a HALF, she didn’t eat A DAMN BIT OF IT!!! >.<

single mother of three

i woke up on saturday and walked out into the family room.  6yo is sitting on daddy’s lap and proudly announces:  mama, daddy taught me how to cut people in half with a chainsaw and i did it all by myself!!!!!  [huge smile and lots of giggles]

it takes me a minute to figure out that they are playing some godforsaken game on xbox. i then narrow my eyes at daddy and shake my head while exiting the room.