10yo, in lieu of reading on her own, chose to read to me from some sort of minecraft handbook. i now know more than i ever – EVER – wanted to about zombie pigmen and the difference between wither skeletons and withers (hint: number of heads). i’m seriously rethinking the whole kindle for the kids things. *headdesk*
me: it’s time for bed. turn off the tv in the playroom and go get ready.
them: [all kinds of wailing and whining, then whispering and silence]
them: mama, look at us. [each slowly crawls out of playroom looking sad with their heads down ] slow, mournful song plays in the background.
me: [stifling laughter]
me [to 7yo]: it’s bedtime.
7yo: I WILL NOW LEAVE THE ROOM IN AN EXTREMELY WEIRD WAY. [wiggles, hops, jumps, spins, dances, tumbles out the door with a bizarre look on her face]
whereupon daddy and i look at each other, shake our heads and start laughing.
daddy and kids making a ton of noise in the other room.
me [looking at clock]: it’s past time to get ready for bed!! let’s go!
10yo [skipping into the room]: sorry, mama. daddy was teaching me how to shoot off people’s heads. (playing a weird, creepy xbox game, not IRL people)
me:……so glad daddy is teaching you the important things in life. *sigh*
on the way home from holiday lighting, kids are in the back seat. they have 2 blue glow necklaces and they hooked them together so they have one large circle. i am thinking they are so cute, posing their heads together and saying it’s a picture frame. then they decide to play harry potter, and the circle is the entrance to gryffindor common room, and 9yo is the fat lady. and i’m thinking how creative they are and still so cute. and then…
9yo: i am the the fat lady. my name is….mrs. buttsky.
me: um, no.
6yo [laughing]: and my password is….pikachubums!
daddy and me: NO. JUST. NO.
so much for cute and creative.