hold me, i’m frightened

while at disney…

6yo:  you know there are 8 dwarves.

me: no, i’m pretty sure there are only 7.

6yo:  no, there’s 8. the 8th one is named crazy and he runs around with a chainsaw like this. [holds arms up above head like wielding a chainsaw and makes a horrible face and yells.]

me [to daddy]:  can we leave her here? she’s starting to scare me.


told kids that cousin Michael would try to fix my mom and dad’s computer camera so we could Skype – they messed it up again. they said how come Michael can fix it and not them? I said my parents aren’t very good at computers, but Michael is.

5yo: here is one thing that Michael is very bad at: shimmer [temporary tattoos].

7yo: yeah, he’s horrible.

me: i’ll tell Michael you just dissed him. LMAO!