boom

kids ambush me as soon as i get home and ask me to play a game they made up:  cakery bakery(TM).  so one of them is supposed to make me a cake from like 3000 different options that they gave to me, and the other is supposed to entertain me with jokes.  9yo “bakes.”

6yo:  what is the difference between a jellyfish and a violin?

me [tired after work]:  one is a jellyfish and one is a violin…

6yo:  no, you can’t strum a jellyfish.

whereupon both kids pretend to be patrick from spongebob and grab a pretend jellyfish and strum him, laughing loudly.  clearly they watch too much tv.  bad. tv.

6yo:  what is the same between a tree and a dog?

me: they both have a bark?

6yo: NO, what is the difference between a tree and a dog?

me:  i don’t know.  one has leaves?

6yo:  NO, IT’S ABOUT THE DOG.

me:  it has fleas?

6yo:  no.  what is the difference between a fox and a dog?

me [wondering what happened to the answer to the tree/dog joke. what is this, like a game show where i get the wrong answer too many times and have to skip to the next? wtf? but then i think of one of their favorite songs]:  a dog says woof but we don’t know what the fox says? [laughing]

6yo:  NO, WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?!?

[both start singing ring ding ding ding ding….. and dancing and laughing hysterically]

6yo: want a banana split without the banana?

me:  [brain explodes]

um, what???

outside the gym, waiting for it and the children’s area to open up.  9yo is telling jokes, so i tell one i saw recently on facebook.

me:  why was the lobster not good at sharing?

9yo:  ummmm, i don’t know

6yo:  because he was crabby?

me:  no, but good guess.  because he was shellfish.

both kids laugh.

6yo:  i have one like that.  why was the carrot not good at sharing?

me:  hmmmm.  no clue.

6yo:  because he was…..crummy.

me:…..