last night, while i was making cookies, 10yo decided she would tell 7yo and me a story. it went something like this:
10yo: once upon a time, there was nothing to say. the end.
me: um, that kinda sucked as a story. [7yo agreed]
10yo: fine. i’ll do it again.
after about 3 more tries where the story gets marginally longer but still manages to say nothing, 10yo enlists the help of 7yo to act out this story.
10yo: once upon a time [7yo points to wrist like a watch], in a galaxy far far away [yes, i do teach my kids the important things in life] [7yo makes grand sweeping motions like the galaxy, then points far away], there were a bunch of people who didn’t do much of anything at all [7yo shrugs] and eventually they all died of boredomitis [7yo drops on the floor].
me [trying not to crack up]: everyone dies? that still kinda sucks. [7yo again agrees]
10yo: fine. so they all came back to life as kickboxing zombies and got rid of all the bad guys. [7yo jumps up and does karate moves with a weird look on her face] the end.
me: [drops head down and laughs so hard i nearly cry into the cookie batter]
i go in to wake up 7yo this morning.
7yo: mama, i know what i want for my birthday [many months from now] or Christmas.
me: [half asleep] great, what would that be?
7yo: a zippy bag.
7yo: i’d put in on my bed and i’d put my blanket underneath it and be warm and i could unzip this side and unzip that side. no, just this side. and you know it’s so awesome that if you spill something on it like food or chocolate [mind you, this is apparently something that goes on a bed], it’s…….[huge smile] MACHINE WASHABLE FLEECE!!!!
me: my life is complete. get up.
daddy and kids making a ton of noise in the other room.
me [looking at clock]: it’s past time to get ready for bed!! let’s go!
10yo [skipping into the room]: sorry, mama. daddy was teaching me how to shoot off people’s heads. (playing a weird, creepy xbox game, not IRL people)
me:……so glad daddy is teaching you the important things in life. *sigh*
8yo [telling me she would open the blinds in her room]: don’t worry, mama. if i can’t reach them, i will just use the dresser. [climbs up to kneel on dresser so she can reach the cords.] it’s fine, really. i’m not risking my life or anything.