there is absolutely no off button for her mouth….

still at dinner.  7yo lies down on her bench seat, then pops up saying “stick to the script” about 15 times.

me:  is there an off button for your mouth?

7yo:  no, there isn’t.  [points to one side of mouth] this is the louder button.  [points to bottom of mouth] this is the speed up button.  [points to  top left of mouth]  this is the off button.  [points to other side of mouth] this is the talk really fast button.  so i’m going to cover up the off button so you can’t press it.  actually i’m going to rip it off so you can’t press it.  [proceeds to practically pull her lips off making horrible sound]  there!

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timing is everything

got home today and before i could even put down my purse and bag, 6yo runs up to me with a bloody top lip.  apparently she was trying to do a handstand and somehow kneed herself in the mouth.  *sigh*

the upside is that she made one of her slightly loose front teeth looser.

can you hear me now?

8yo [who is supposed to be reading before bed] just came out and told me that she has figured out how to instant message.

8yo: i just pass my invisible cell phone into my ear, and instant messaging comes out of my mouth.

this weirdness brought to you by the fact that my kids NEVER WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.