single mother of three

i woke up on saturday and walked out into the family room.  6yo is sitting on daddy’s lap and proudly announces:  mama, daddy taught me how to cut people in half with a chainsaw and i did it all by myself!!!!!  [huge smile and lots of giggles]

it takes me a minute to figure out that they are playing some godforsaken game on xbox. i then narrow my eyes at daddy and shake my head while exiting the room.

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morning at our house

i walk in and say good morning to 6yo.

6yo: 8yo and i switched our brains so that daddy wouldn’t have to give them to us and give them out to other people and use his extra smart brains and give them to people who need extra brains….

me:  [leaves room before head explodes]