hold me, please

5yo just got out of the shower. i told her to get dressed.  then i hear from her room….

5yo: i’m shaking my butt, my butt, my butty butt bum. i’m shaking my booty butt, my booty wooty wooty.  my bum bummy bum. i’m shaking my toot bum, my bottttooommmm. [giggling hysterically and running around in front of a mirror]

i’m laughing but that same time, she scares me. a. lot.

really???

just told 8yo that she can’t go to the neighbors this weekend to wash their truck [yes, it was her idea and she was excited by it! don’t ask] because something came up.

8yo:  tell me what – what came up?

me: it’s private family stuff for them.

8yo: puhleeeeze tell me! i’ll do anything! i clean the toilet!

me:  no, it’s none of your business and i’m not telling you.  end of story.

8yo:  PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I CLEAN THE TOILET EVERY DAY FOR LIKE 2000 YEARS!!!!

me:  [considering…]