6yo [calling out from her bed where she is reading before going to sleep]: mamaaaaaa, i haaaave a neeeww waaay of tellinggggg you whennn i’m done reeeeading. [voice inflecting up and down] it invooolves making weeeird noisesssss.
me: um, no.
6yo: too late! i already signed the contract giving me the right to do it! [laughing loudly]
me [muttering to myself]: damn soulsucker genes….
9yo [holding one large bean bag in front of her and one behind]: look how i’m going to be, mama. i’m beanburger. as in beanbag burger. i narrowed it to beanburger so it wouldn’t sound weird.
driving out in the boonies, we pass a field with a group of trees in it.
daddy: there is a cow hiding in those trees.
8yo: there so is not.
driving on, we pass another field with a large shade tree in it. this time there is clearly a cow laying under the tree.
daddy: there’s a cow laying in the shade under that tree.
8yo: daddy is right, for once in his life.
5yo: the sore spot isn’t a bruise, it’s sun damage from being in the pool.
me: [thinking um, no it’s not, but whatever] ok, do you want me to put aloe on it?
5yo: no….. [thinking] because it will make my dress wet. aaaaaand [thinking] when you put aloe on it, it stings as it heals it, and it doesn’t feel better until it’s the next day and that’s way too long.
me: ok, no aloe then.
5yo: is there cream for sunburns?
me: yes, aloe. but i can put some of my cream on you instead.
5yo: ok. but later because…….[big breath] when you put it on in the morning, it kinda makes me fall asleep because it’s so soft.
me: right. *smh*