me [to 7yo]: it’s bedtime.
7yo: I WILL NOW LEAVE THE ROOM IN AN EXTREMELY WEIRD WAY. [wiggles, hops, jumps, spins, dances, tumbles out the door with a bizarre look on her face]
whereupon daddy and i look at each other, shake our heads and start laughing.
i walk in the door coming home from work. 7yo runs up to me to say hello.
daddy: did you tell mama about me?
7yo: daddy has a bandage on his arm. he says he was bitten by a zombie and now he’s going to turn into a zombie. and when he’s tired, he wants to eat brains. [giving daddy very skeptical look]
daddy: and i’m coming for you later, tasty brain girl. [7yo screams and hides behind me, pretending to shake with fear]
me: so glad i came home. [contemplates going back to work]
i woke up on saturday and walked out into the family room. 6yo is sitting on daddy’s lap and proudly announces: mama, daddy taught me how to cut people in half with a chainsaw and i did it all by myself!!!!! [huge smile and lots of giggles]
it takes me a minute to figure out that they are playing some godforsaken game on xbox. i then narrow my eyes at daddy and shake my head while exiting the room.