and welcome to my morning

currently as i try to eat breakfast, 10yo is up on the kitchen counter screaming because 7yo is crawling toward her in a bikini saying “revenge” over and over in a creepy way.  *sigh*

seriously, single mother of three here *sigh*

daddy and kids making a ton of noise in the other room.

me [looking at clock]:  it’s past time to get ready for bed!!  let’s go!

10yo [skipping into the room]:  sorry, mama.  daddy was teaching me how to shoot off people’s heads. (playing a weird, creepy xbox game, not IRL people)

me:……so glad daddy is teaching you the important things in life.  *sigh*

and how is your morning?

so i get up and realize that my desk chair, where i sit to catch up on news in the morning, is gone.  9yo has co-opted it so that her stuffies can sit and watch her play a game on her computer.  there are like 10 other chairs in the house.  but somehow i was the bad guy when i asked for my chair back. *sigh*

bedtime for bozos

this was my putting the kids to bed tonight:

9yo [singing]:  tractor!  gonna see a chiropractor!  he’s gonna fix my backtor!  [dies laughing and rolling around on the bed]

[sidenote:  clearly i need to rethink letting them watch the fairly oddparents]

6yo [as i tell her to get off the covers and under them]:  booty up in the air! booty down on the ground!  booty booty all around!  [dissolves into giggling fit]

me:  *sigh*

the pencil is mightier than….i’m not sure what

oh geez.  i was just asked how to spell “feel” which means one of the girls’ famous notes is coming.  this one is by 6yo who is going to tell us she is upset that she cannot sleep in our bed for like the 2,000th time.  *sigh*

sigh

my kids are making butt impressions on the fogged up shower curtain, if you were wondering how my friday night is going so far.

sigh

8yo who goes crazy at bedtime every night when i’m trying to calm her and 5yo down just got counted to 2 and is complaining to daddy how mean i am because i wouldn’t let her bring her new desk chair into the bathroom to brush her teeth [it won’t fit].

*sigh*

bum shaker forever

me [from the other room during dinner] to 5yo: what are you doing instead of eating?

5yo: sticking my bum in the air. *giggling hysterically*

me: *sigh*

sigh

now 4yo is running through the house – naked, of course – screaming “naked baby flying!!” and holding a pinwheel. it’s gonna be one of those days.

sigh

4yo:  mama, i can’t breathe cause i’m holding my nose.