kill me now – bedtime edition

6yo [calling out from her bed where she is reading before going to sleep]:  mamaaaaaa,  i haaaave a neeeww waaay of tellinggggg you whennn i’m done reeeeading.  [voice inflecting up and down]  it invooolves making weeeird noisesssss.

me:  um, no.

6yo:  too late!  i already signed the contract giving me the right to do it!  [laughing loudly]

me [muttering to myself]:  damn soulsucker genes….

can you hear me now?

8yo [who is supposed to be reading before bed] just came out and told me that she has figured out how to instant message.

8yo: i just pass my invisible cell phone into my ear, and instant messaging comes out of my mouth.

this weirdness brought to you by the fact that my kids NEVER WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.