7yo: i feel like…..lemonade.
7yo: yes, that means i feel cold.
me:…..so of all the ways to describe your being cold, you chose lemonade??
7yo: actually, it means that i feel refreshing.
me [worried what this new turn might bring]: refreshing…..
7yo: which means that i’m sleepy.
me: *gives up and proceeds to ignore child”
i walk in the door coming home from work. 7yo runs up to me to say hello.
daddy: did you tell mama about me?
7yo: daddy has a bandage on his arm. he says he was bitten by a zombie and now he’s going to turn into a zombie. and when he’s tired, he wants to eat brains. [giving daddy very skeptical look]
daddy: and i’m coming for you later, tasty brain girl. [7yo screams and hides behind me, pretending to shake with fear]
me: so glad i came home. [contemplates going back to work]
the other day…
daddy: we’re going to take all the coins in these cups and put them in one of those coin counting machines so we can put them in your bank accounts. sound like a plan?
9yo: need to turn them into paper money cuz i got to get those dollars, yo