um, what?

daddy:  you girls have a short week and then a 4 day weekend!

9yo:  oh yeah. oh yeah.  who’s the relaxer? oh yeah.

daddy: ???

um, what???

outside the gym, waiting for it and the children’s area to open up.  9yo is telling jokes, so i tell one i saw recently on facebook.

me:  why was the lobster not good at sharing?

9yo:  ummmm, i don’t know

6yo:  because he was crabby?

me:  no, but good guess.  because he was shellfish.

both kids laugh.

6yo:  i have one like that.  why was the carrot not good at sharing?

me:  hmmmm.  no clue.

6yo:  because he was…..crummy.

me:…..

um, what?

8yo [at dinner table, eating pizza]:  this pizza is great. it has crumbs on the bottom that you can like.

me:  um, what?

8yo:  little yellow crumbs on the bottom. i like to lick them off. [demonstrates the licking for me]

me:  you know you are weird, right?

8yo:  the crumbs like to visit my face.  they have this thing about my eyebrows.

me:….

8yo:  to avoid the crumby eyebrow thing, you have to eat quickly.

me:  um, yeah.  [shakes and hangs head]

um, what?

6yo [yes, she’s 6 now!!!! sniff]:  [putting beaded necklace on her teeth]   look, i have braces!!

daddy and me:  [laughing]

6yo:  the fun never stops when you have braces!!!!!

me:  ?

8yo:  “the fun never stops when you have braces.”  that’s an inspiring campaign slogan!!

me:  [takes more aspirin]

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