7yo’s description of the school grounds on first day of school

we can walk from our neighborhood to the kids’ school.  after we get off the path, there is a fenced drainage area.  with all the rain, it is now completely grown over and the animals are loud as all get out.

7yo:  it looks like muck, smells like yuck, and sounds like frog.

at least she’s honest?

i walk past 10yo and she makes this horrible growling scratchy noise.

me:  WTH was that??

10yo:  i was just clearing my throat in a loud and unfriendly way.

me:…..

i’m a single mother of two kids and a zombie, apparently

i walk in the door coming home from work.  7yo runs up to me to say hello.

daddy:  did you tell mama about me?

7yo:  daddy has a bandage on his arm. he says he was bitten by a zombie and now he’s going to turn into a zombie. and when he’s tired, he wants to eat brains.  [giving daddy very skeptical look]

daddy:  and i’m coming for you later, tasty brain girl.  [7yo screams and hides behind me, pretending to shake with fear]

me: so glad i came home. [contemplates going back to work]