we can walk from our neighborhood to the kids’ school. after we get off the path, there is a fenced drainage area. with all the rain, it is now completely grown over and the animals are loud as all get out.
7yo: it looks like muck, smells like yuck, and sounds like frog.
i walk past 10yo and she makes this horrible growling scratchy noise.
me: WTH was that??
10yo: i was just clearing my throat in a loud and unfriendly way.
i walk in the door coming home from work. 7yo runs up to me to say hello.
daddy: did you tell mama about me?
7yo: daddy has a bandage on his arm. he says he was bitten by a zombie and now he’s going to turn into a zombie. and when he’s tired, he wants to eat brains. [giving daddy very skeptical look]
daddy: and i’m coming for you later, tasty brain girl. [7yo screams and hides behind me, pretending to shake with fear]
me: so glad i came home. [contemplates going back to work]