whose kids are these???

both kids in the shower.

5yo:  stop! you are getting water in my eyes!

8yo:  ok i’ll stop…….or WILL i?  OMINOUS MUSIC!  DUH DUH DUUUUUH!

whose kids are these???

conversation on the way home from church:

5yo:  pshhhh pshhhh

8yo:  please excuse me while return to my super wedgie ows.

daddy and me: ???

5yo:  KILLER SUPER WEDGIES!!!! [giggling like a maniac]

8yo:  i am giving myself a killer super wedgie by yanking on my underwear.

me:  oh. my. gawd. whose kids are these?!?