10yo, in lieu of reading on her own, chose to read to me from some sort of minecraft handbook. i now know more than i ever – EVER – wanted to about zombie pigmen and the difference between wither skeletons and withers (hint: number of heads). i’m seriously rethinking the whole kindle for the kids things. *headdesk*
9yo: i’m cold. why am i cold?
7yo: because you are a big ice cube with a bum.
9yo: well, you are a tooty fruity sno cone with a head.
9yo [bouncing on her new bungee cord chair]: this trick is called the human can. you ask why it’s not called the human cannonball? [ i didn’t] because when you shoot forward, you get stuffed into a can of franks and beans.
what, exactly, is Almost Naked Animals???? and why does it exist???????
4yo: i threw a stick in the street to pop a car’s tire.
daddy: why would you do that?!?
4yo: because it’s funny. [big grin]
the child will be in jail by 18. *sigh*