i’m a single mother of two kids and a zombie, apparently

i walk in the door coming home from work.  7yo runs up to me to say hello.

daddy:  did you tell mama about me?

7yo:  daddy has a bandage on his arm. he says he was bitten by a zombie and now he’s going to turn into a zombie. and when he’s tired, he wants to eat brains.  [giving daddy very skeptical look]

daddy:  and i’m coming for you later, tasty brain girl.  [7yo screams and hides behind me, pretending to shake with fear]

me: so glad i came home. [contemplates going back to work]

 

Advertisements

i think i need to worry about what daddy is teaching them when i’m not home

came home from work and walked in on kids having dinner. i have no idea what they were talking about, but this is what i heard:

9yo [to 7yo, with emphasis]:  exactly.  YOU are a WOMAN of MANY changes.

i really need to get home earlier because i’m starting to worry what daddy is teaching them while i’m away.