me [to 7yo]: stop playing with that straw and put it in your cup.
7yo [touching me with straw]: I TOUCHED YOU WITH THE STRAW. NOW I CAN DRINK YOUR DNA!!!
me [to 7yo]: stop playing with that straw and put it in your cup.
7yo [touching me with straw]: I TOUCHED YOU WITH THE STRAW. NOW I CAN DRINK YOUR DNA!!!
5yo: what did the straw say to the dog?
7yo: i don’t know. what?
5yo: hey, you’re supposed to eat watermelon, not dog food.
7yo:…..
5yo: and i put my underwear on backwards!!!!
*smh*