it takes a….barn?

5yo:  mama!  i know all the names of all the baby animals!!

me: that’s great!  so, what is the name of a baby goat?

5yo:  ummmm…..i’m not sure.

mama:  [trying not to give her the answers] maybe it’s a..cub?

5yo:  no, that’s a baby bear.

me:  right!  but maybe it is also a cub?

5yo:  no. it is not.

me: i actually think it is called a kid.

5yo:  mooooom!  a baby goat is NOT a kid.  I am what is known as a kid!!! [fairly rolls eyes at my stupidity]

me: [trying hard not to laugh] oh, ok, i’m sorry.  what about a lion?

5yo:  a baby lion is a….wildcat.

me: uh huh.  a tiger?

5yo:  that’s a pup.  like a baby dog. but a baby tiger.

me:  got it.  how about a bird?

5yo:  that’s a bird-y.  like a bird, with an ee on the end.

me:  [stifling a laugh] and a fish?

5yo:  a fish-y. [big smile]

me:  and a monkey?

5yo:  a monk.  it’s a strange sounding word, i know, but that’s what it’s called.

me:  gotcha.

morning at my house

daddy pretends to bite 8yo’s arm.

8yo:  don’t bite my blubber!!!

daddy and me:  [falling on the floor laughing]

5yo:  she has blubber because she is a whale because she is loud like a whale.  whale’s go aaaaaoooooohhhhh when they talk.

me:  ….

i was laughing too hard to hear the part that followed, but it devolved into this:

8yo:  i’m blubberman and i shoot blubber out of my…..toe.

5yo:  i’m webgirl [??? don’t ask – i don’t know where the web came from] and i shoot webs out of my belly button!!

both take off running around the house with one arm in front, like superman.  LOL

oh yeah

sent 5yo in her room to get her night clothes on.  this is what we hear:

5yo:  i’m gonna go in my room and THROW off my robe!  i’m naked – oh yeah [in sing songy voice].

me and daddy:  [cracking up]

5yo:  [making a song out of it]  i’m naked – oh yeah. oh yeah. oh yeah.

 

in case you were wondering how it sounded…..

tmi

8yo and 5yo attack me when i get up.

8yo:  pretend you are going to wipe your messy face on her.  [both move toward me, and yes, they had been eating oreos – nuff said]

this goes on with them attacking me and me repelling them for several minutes.

8yo:  we’re gonna wipe the oreo mess all over your shirt!

5yo: i’m not wearing underwear!!!

me:  *smh*

snort

driving out in the boonies, we pass a field with a group of trees in it.

daddy:  there is a cow hiding in those trees.

8yo:  there so is not.

driving on, we pass another field with a large shade tree in it.  this time there is clearly a cow laying under the tree.

daddy:  there’s a cow laying in the shade under that tree.

8yo:  daddy is right, for once in his life.

me:  *snort*

tmi

8yo and 5yo attack me when i get up.

8yo:  pretend you are going to wipe your messy face on her.  [both move toward me, and yes, they had been eating oreos – nuff said]

this goes on with them attacking me and me repelling them for several minutes.

8yo:  we’re gonna wipe the oreo mess all over your shirt!

5yo: i’m not wearing underwear!!!

me:  *smh*

single mother of three, with video games

daddy is playing borderlands 2 on the xbox while the kids watch.  5yo is cheering him on when he kills things. yay?

8yo tells him he should do a particular action to get past the next level/mission/whatever (can you tell i don’t play xbox?).  daddy says no, he has been working on this for several days and he will figure it out.

after trying numerous more times and 8yo telling him he should do what she says, he finally does do what she says….and makes it to the next whatever.  8yo is all “i told you so daddy.  daddy is pouting and grumpy now.  LMAO