the other day…
daddy: we’re going to take all the coins in these cups and put them in one of those coin counting machines so we can put them in your bank accounts. sound like a plan?
9yo: need to turn them into paper money cuz i got to get those dollars, yo
daddy:….
i’m brushing out 9yo’s hair to ensure no tangles since they wake up with monster rat’s nests in their hair every night. i brush her hair forward.
9yo: i feel like i’m wearing a hair net at a cat’s funeral.
me:….
daddy: ok, y’all had fun during dinner but you need to calm down now. you can’t act like that during church. it’s unacceptable.
9yo: yeah, it would ruin our reputation.
me: [chokes]
when going in to tidy up the kids’ bathroom before bed, daddy noticed that 7yo had written this on the bathroom wall:
[read: Darkness riseing over us and the city. “ahaha”hahahaha!]
when asked about it and where it came from (we were hoping from a show or book), she said she just thought it up and giggled hysterically.
hold me. i’m afraid.
ok, so i broke down and got one of those creepy elf on the shelf things. seriously, these things are disturbing looking. but they kids wanted one, so…yeah.
flipped thru a million elf ideas then decided on the elf hiding in the laundry room, roasting a marshmallow over a tea light candle with marshmallows scattered all over the place. apparently it was a success, as the kids were thrilled that they found him and totally loved what he was doing. (yay me)
my first regret over the stupid effin elf: the kids came and loudly expressed this thrill and excitement to us AT 6:37 THIS MORNING (sunday), scaring the crap out of us.
how many more days til the freaky little shit can go away again?
on the way home from holiday lighting, kids are in the back seat. they have 2 blue glow necklaces and they hooked them together so they have one large circle. i am thinking they are so cute, posing their heads together and saying it’s a picture frame. then they decide to play harry potter, and the circle is the entrance to gryffindor common room, and 9yo is the fat lady. and i’m thinking how creative they are and still so cute. and then…
9yo: i am the the fat lady. my name is….mrs. buttsky.
me: um, no.
6yo [laughing]: and my password is….pikachubums!
daddy and me: NO. JUST. NO.
so much for cute and creative.
family headed to local holiday lighting. 9yo sees the lights.
9yo: SQUEEEE! I WANT TO LICK THE LIGHTS!
daddy: that would be a good way to get electrocuted.
9yo: but what a way to experience the holiday spirit running through me!
why my head hurts 