6yo to 4yo: would you be ever so kind as to help me with this?
Category Archives: 2011
parent fail
6yo’s idea of dinner tonight: spaghetti, mashed potatoes, and….wait for it….rice chex.
darn rabbits
conversation on way to school:
3yo: i was Alice yesterday at school. i wore a costume.
me: did you see the white rabbit?
3yo [dramatically]: no, rabbits make me tired.
me: ….
where’s perry?
6yo was just shaving her face with a platypus.
don’t ask
3yo is sitting on the couch in a laundry basket with a rolling pin.
nonsequitur
3yo [on the way to school]: berry blueberry. those rhyme. because of the berry thing. eggs are really good for you. that’s why Max, Ruby’s OLDer brother, doesn’t want to eat them, but they lots and lots of them. all over the place. look at the beautiful doggie. hi!
parent fail
3yo’s first comment upon learning of daddy’s new job: so now we can go to the store and buy lots of things.
conference
3yo comes out of 6yo’s room, where they are playing: mama, can we have a bowl of marshmallows?
me: no.
3yo runs back in to confer with 6yo. comes back out: well, what can we have a bowl of?
me: nothing. you can have a snack.
3yo runs back in. the conference is ongoing. i’m almost afraid to hear what they ask for now.
drama
6yo [on running out of green paint for her picture]: i’m doomed!!!
danger danger
3yo just came out wearing a Build-a-Bear box on her head saying “red alert! red alert!”
cheeburger cheeburger
daddy to 3yo: you want a cheeseburger. plain or with stuff on it?
3yo: i want…..cheese on it.
surfer chicks
6yo to me: way to go, dude!
3yo: no, she’s a dudette!
she’s starting to scare me
3yo: sometimes little boys cry when they are hurt with fire.
dammit
at the Halloween store, daddy points out a Gumby outfit. 3yo vetoes it almost instantaneously. LOL
lunch
daddy: what do we want for lunch? we’re not having pizza.
6yo: let me confer with my sister. [after a minute of whispering] 3yo wants pizza.
me: [smh]
quick draw
6yo to 3yo [talking about daddy]: shoot him! shoot him! oh, he’s too fast. i’ll just do it myself.
it’s too early for this
yesterday i woken up to the sound of my darling daughters beating a bug to death with a soccer ball. and then they came to show it to me. best. wakeup. call. ever. not.
where do they get this??
3yo: daddy didn’t stomp my toe. what’s up with that?
not sure where she learns this stuff
daddy [in truck]: here, keep this water bottle back there.
6yo: ok, i’ll put this bad boy right here. [tries to hand it back to daddy]
daddy: just keep it back there.
6yo: oh, my bad.
driving
from the backseat:
6yo to 3yo: you have to make 100 million points.
3yo: kick. kick. kick.
6yo: ok, you have 100 million points. now you have to make 600 million points.
3yo: kick. kick. kick. 1. 2. 3….
daddy: this is going to take eternity.
argh
6yo: i want a dog.
3yo: we’re not allowed.
6yo: when i’m older, i am going to buy….. a parrot.
3yo: but you hafta be a pirate!!
hungry!
3yo [spying starbursts on the counter]: mama, can i have two of those after dinner?
me: yes, after dinner.
3yo: but i’m still hungr-gryyyyyyy!!!
me: you haven’t eaten dinner yet.
3yo: oh.
way back when
3yo [dancing to retro Josie and the Pussycats theme song]: i used to LOVE this when i was growing up!
surprise!
3yo: it’s a surprise, don’t see it there!
weird things
6yo [standing in front of me with a blanket over her head]: there’s this large weird thing in front of you.
no
3yo: lay on your back.
me: no.
3yo: you have to do what i say.
me: no, i don’t.
3yo: ummm, do it anyway.
me: ummm, no.
getting bigger
3yo: i weight 40 lbs [not really]. that means i’m getting so big. i can’t even pick myself up!!
rhyme time
3yo: fee fi fo fummy. i’m gonna eat mama on the……toe.
*sigh* yes, we do need to work on rhyming.
embarrassing daddy….again
this morning, all three of us did the bum shaking thing for daddy’s benefit. *snicker* at least we had clothes on.
storytelling redux
3yo’s response to story was doing a booty shaking dance all around the playroom. just. for. daddy.
storytelling
6yo is telling a story. the story starts off with wile e. coyote, an undershirt, sunglasses, and a turtle. it did NOT get better.
embarrassing mama
3yo approaches me while i’m getting dressed: mama, you have nickles.
embarrassing daddy
LMAO while watching daddy trying to dry both kids in the bath, and they are mooning him and dancing and singing. he has his face buried in a towel and was shaking his head.
he has just informed me that he will not be bathing the kids much longer. *snicker*
nonsequitur
3yo: i don’t like to eat smurfs. i like to eat chicken, pasta, hot dogs, mustard….and that person’s in a pond.
like, fer surr
conversation between kids after watching bats fly out of the bat houses:
6yo: how cool was that?
3yo: awesome.
me: we’re raising Valley girls.
real men like pink
6yo to daddy: you’re going to drive a pink Barbie truck and just deal. with. it.
daddy: that is sooo uncool.
me: [cracking up]
future lawyer
6yo: i want pasta for dinner.
daddy: you eat too much pasta. you have to eat something else.
6yo: give me a piggyback ride and i’ll eat some pasta.
daddy: ….
oh, the irony
6yo while attacking me: i am a bunny warrior which is stronger and faster than a dragon lawyer.
me: [laughing hysterically at the inadvertent irony]
it’s too early for this
3yo directly in my face first thing in the morning: mama, i’m going to say “Nemo’s spoon” in franish – FRANISH. [loud giggling]
i should sell the tv
3yo and 6yo in back seat of car:
6yo: cow
3yo: chicken
6yo: cow
um, what?
6yo just sent me to a buffalo pound????
things you thought you would never say
daddy to 3yo: after you lick the table, you wipe the table.
i’m sensing a theme
6yo: i want some bacon for breakfast.
daddy: you can’t just eat bacon, you have to eat something else with it.
6yo: ok, i’ll have bacon and milk.
why do i not believe her?
3yo holding bin of legos belong to 6yo: mama, can you open this?
me: did 6yo say you could play with them?
4yo: she said she can’t play right now.
me: but did she say you could play with them?
3yo [pauses]: i didn’t ask her yet.
me: go ask her.
3yo comes back: she said….i could do it for…..umm, 2 minutes. [cute sneaky smile]
bad guys
3yo holding Annie from Little Einsteins and a rock-like man and making them talk:
Annie: hi, i’m Annie.
rock-like man: hi, i’m a bad guy. sorry bout that.
whack a mole
3yo after being caught out of bed and put back there: look mama, it’s 5 o’clock [pointing to clock which says 9:05], and i didn’t see you in the bathroom, you were supposed to take our pink blowdryer and blow dry your nails, sometimes it’s dark when i go to bed, sometimes i hear the owls and sometimes i don’t hear the owls [which are not what they seem?], and they didn’t have tiger nails, did they?
bath time redux
6yo to 3yo [both in the bath]: now sit back and watch the movie
i don’t even….
6yo holding plastic top to detangling spray bottle on her thumb: this would be good for nose pickers.
nonsequitur
3yo “reading” a “teach me Spanish” book: once upon a time there were people who were looking for a duck….dum dum dum…and there was spring….and someone has a houses…..
appropriate
3yo watching tv: look, 6yo, SNURFS!
why my head hurts 